What do you need to do to get a marriage partner and… Does Ethnicity and Age really matter? (24 posts)

Topic tags: age, club, culture, ethnicity, haroon, makuza, marriage, nationality, single, singles
  • Profile picture of Haroon Haroon said 1 year, 7 months ago:

    In this topic you are given a chance to air out your opinion relating to ways of finding a future husband/wife and also discuss whether ethnicity and Age matter.

    Please remember these opinions are not from my profile or muslimplace.com. These are opinions from members of different nationalities and levels of practice.

    Respect for everyone is the number one priority here. May Allah guide us through the straight path.

  • Profile picture of abdullateef abdullateef said 1 year, 7 months ago:

    alihamdullilah,well islamically according to the scripture,u need to get a beleiver which is either a man or a woman,so, characters,educational and islamic background is very important,nd the QURAN says u can marry from the people of the scripture which are the jews and the christians which are beleivers.well to me i think age is not a barrier,in as much as the respect for both of them is there,and the woman accept her husband as the head of the family,ethnicity does not really matter in this case. may almighty ALLAH our prayer and grant us good wife

  • Profile picture of Deleted User said 1 year, 7 months ago:

    As salaamu alaikum
    sadly today it is increasingly hard to find suitable candidates for marriage in the more conventional ways i. e. friends and family, the masjid. so most resort to the internet as a means to connect with one who may be the best match. ideally in my opinion age and ethnicity should not matter, however because of surroundings and traditions it is not always easy for ones that come together from separate geographical areas. Age too can be a problem if the people involved are not patient and grounded in taheed wa sunnah.

    for me age nor ethnicty matter. what matters is understanding who your Lord is and worshipping accordingly. May allah give us success in our endeavors in this life and the next ameen.

  • Profile picture of Francois NDIAYE Francois NDIAYE said 1 year, 7 months ago:

    Ameen @safiyyah

  • Profile picture of jeleel jeleel said 1 year, 7 months ago:

    Ethnicity and age is not matter at all, the matter most is trust and love, thank you may Allah be with us all ameenat

  • Profile picture of nur nur said 1 year, 7 months ago:

    Alot of people are not married for a number of reasons. In the UK and especially in certain regions ie Scotland for every 1 man looking there are around 10 single females if not more from a certain age group, 30+. Most of the men have married overseas compared to females.
    They see the females here as corrupt. So what does this make their own sisters? They then bring over the wife and have kids in this corrupt environment as they think they can bring them up to have Islamic values. Does this mean they thought their parents brought them up wrong?
    When that marriage fails, they then look at women in the UK, the ones they thought were corrupt are now good enough to marry!

    The other men have married non muslim, reverts or women of the book.

    As a muslim woman can only marry a muslim man, this leaves many women unmarried. When of the book, there are conditions to be met. Belief in 1 God, raising children as muslim and the woman has to be chaste unless she is divorced or widowed. How many does this apply to?
    Also, if there are muslimahs to marry in a non muslim country, then marrying a non muslim is not encouraged as who marries the muslim women?

    Marrying a revert I have noticed is socially acceptable if the revert is female, especially white. Most have known their spouse prior to reversion. If a woman marries a male revert, the community are not too supportive! Double standards apply here.

    If a woman is divorced and wants to remarry and on top of it has children, it is harder for her to get married again. A divorced man normally looks for a woman who has never married or who has no children even though he is not of that status. If it suits both parties , then fine so why are divorced women looked down on?
    Ethnicity should not matter, however people still shun this, we are still in a world where caste is still alive and kicking for some muslim groups!
    Age matters to a degree. It is normally the man who is way older looking for a younger wife. A generation gap is here so may not have the same generational understanding. Look at parents and children. They don’t see eye to eye as difference in time. Some are marrying someone who is old enough to be their kid, usually from abroad.

    Also, the good old way of living with the inlaws. These days not many want to live with them. One thing is, most parents never lived with their inlaws as they migrated to the UK, yet expect their kids and their wives to live and look after them.

  • Profile picture of Deleted User said 1 year, 7 months ago:

    masha’Allah you made good and valid points may Allah rectify the affairs of the muslimeen ameen.

  • Profile picture of saadat saadat said 1 year, 7 months ago:

    my english is not good but i trying to convey my openion . i think we are muslim by name because we born in muslim family . we don’t know what quran say because we read quran in a month or years . we don’t read quran with translation and understanding , we always fight with nature thats why we face too many problem in life . if we understand quran then we can make our life batter . May ALLAH help us to understand quran & Sunnat. and our life wit islamic values.

  • Profile picture of mishka mishka said 1 year, 7 months ago:

    Age and ethnicity dont matter – as long as you both follow the teachings of the quraan and sunnah and love each other .
    People still have that backward thinking and make a big issue aboubt age difference and ethnicity – we are living in the 21st century !! come on people wake up .

  • Profile picture of Syed Aleemuddin Syed Aleemuddin said 1 year, 7 months ago:

    Assalaamualikum,

    As long as Islam does not impose on us rules which state that one must marry only in a specific ethnic group and ones age must be a minimum of x years and a maximum of x years, then why do we Muslims try to act smart and change the Laws of the Creator? Allah made marriage easy and we have made Zina easy. Allah wishes good for us and we wish bad for ourselves. During the time of the Prophet (SAWS) and Sahaba(RA) the Muslims were the best in society, but may Allah forgive me nowadays sometimes we are worse than some kuffar in certain matters. Let us work together in bringing back our people to the Quran and Sunnah and make marriages easy.

  • Profile picture of Asha Ali Asha Ali said 1 year, 7 months ago:

    Our beloved Prophet (SSW) married married at age 25 years his wife Khadija who was 40 years old. In Islam, age & ethnicity does not have any relevance in marriage. In my view what is important is faith, love, modest, kindness, and understanding. Nur made good about barriers in marriage in Western world.

  • Profile picture of akrubina akrubina said 1 year, 7 months ago:

    Excellently said Asha!!! (As usual) An excellent topic – thank you Haroon.

  • Profile picture of Rais Rais said 1 year, 7 months ago:

    i appreciate the feeling and messages of all writers we should take some measures

    for positive aspect make a marriage bureau, if some one can help in this a great

    work being done.(sawab).

  • Profile picture of Deleted User said 1 year, 7 months ago:

    your reply to this post is not clear. you say that people have a problem wth black skin that black skin is hated as if you agree that this thinking is bad; however, in your own profile you make it very clear that you do not want any woman with black skin or from africa. this is offensive to me as a muslimah. what people like or hate is irrelevant in islam. Allah created all mankind none above or better than another. their is good and bad in all races and the ratio is equal between the races. it is ignorant for any creation of Allah to say that someone’s skin color is a Big Problem. when we were conceived we were all the same color( a blood clot) and Allah ta ala decided what color our skin would be and Allah never makes a mistake or a Big Problem.

  • Profile picture of Haroon Haroon said 1 year, 7 months ago:

    @safiyyah
    Thanks for your wonderful reply it is an awakening and reminder to all people that we are all equal in the Eyes of Allah.

    I guess you are replying to @Naveed because his/her message was removed by the moderator

    However, people may sometimes read a message and think you are talking to them so it is important that if you are talking directly to someone you start with their username just as I did in this reply.
    May Allah reward you abundantly.
    Haroon