Raising Sincere Muslim Children

Abu Zain

Raising Sincere Muslim Children

Islam places great importance on raising our family, hence one needs to put special effort into this to raise devout and sincere Islamic children. Narrated Ibn Umar: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings upon Him) said: ”All of you are shepherds and each of you is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of the people of his house and he is responsible. A woman is the shepherd of the house for her husband and children, thus she is responsible. Following are some advice on how to raise sincere devout Muslim kids which would also be productive to the society:

Sincerity and intention to raise exemplary Muslims is important:
We do things for the pleasure of Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala) than our intentions are in a good place. With our children we should intend for them to be good Muslims, productive, good, kind and God fearing. When our intentions are wrong, then we must ask Allah to make true and sincere our intentions. Some parents have done good to their children only to boast and show off their children, subhan’Allah, we must ask Allah to protect us and our children from this and keep focused on the real and true intention.

Spend appropriately on your children
Parents, and especially fathers, have the responsibility to spend on their children in ways that can help their proper upbringing. It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allah ibn ‘Amr said: The Messenger of Allah (s) said: “It is sufficient sin for a man if he neglects those on whom he is obliged to spend” (Narrated by Abu Dawood, 1692; classed as sahan by Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 4481). Another hadith in this context states that ‘Aa’ishah, the wife of the Prophet (s), said: A woman came to me with two daughters and asked me for food, and I could not find anything except one date which I gave to her. She shared it between her two daughters, then she got up and went out. The Prophet (s) came in and I told him what had happened. He said: “Whoever is in charge of any of these girls and treats them well, they will be a shield for him against the Fire” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5649; Muslim, 2629).

Be kind , gentle and Patient with Kids
Always use pleasant, kind, sincere and honest speech! Children are like sponges and they take everything in. If you use a bad word once they’ll see it as license to use forever! Children remember often how you speak to them, which in turn is how they will likely speak to others. Remember that what you say has a big impact on how you make your children feel. They look to you for your approval and what you say can effect their self-esteem.

Build your children’s characters by respecting them
We read in traditions that the Prophet (s) prolonged his sajdah until his grandson came down from his shoulders, and at other times he recited Salāt al-Jamā’at faster as he heard children of praying mothers crying.

Keep the promises you made to your Children promises:
Keeping promises in Islam is a sign of one’s faith, and Allāh (swt) mentions it in the Qur’an. “And fulfill the covenants; indeed all covenants are accountable.” When you make a promise to them, you must keep it, because children consider you their sustainer.”

Instill confidence and perseverance in Children:
Nothing silences the sense of self-trust in a child more than forcing him to do things they may not have the capability of doing. This is especially the case when, if the child is unsuccessful, it is followed by belittling statements like: “Don’t bother trying, you can’t, you don’t have the capability.” Parents should encourage their children’s work that would motivate them to be more productive.

Foster the Islamic faith in your child right from day one:
Children that have been raised from the beginning with faith in Allāh (swt) have a strong will and powerful soul and from their early years are mature and courageous; this is easily observed by their actions and words. The readiness of the soul of a child to learn faith and Akhlāq is like fertile ground in which any type of seed can grow. Parents should inculcate in their children the correct ‘aqeedah of the oneness of Allah followed by all religious acts of worship that are needed for them to get close to Allah. This involves teaching children all rights of Allah, which can come by children fully understanding the concepts of Tawheed. The principles of Tawheed should never be taken lightly because they mark the boundaries of entering Islam. Therefore, parents should teach their child love for Allāh (swt), Ahlul Bayt , Companions and leaders of Islam from the earliest opportunities. Besides teaching children the rituals of worship and the rights of individuals, children should be taught Islamic morals, characters, and etiquette from an early age so that it becomes part of their habits. Children should be taught the principles of humility, tolerance, patience, and other such behavioral traits. These personality traits can help any individual tremendously in their lives. For example, teach them about patience and tolerance and dealing with tough situations, and they will be thankful to you for the rest of their lives. Those of us who struggle in life by not having properly learned such conduct may also very well know their value. Children can learn such conduct by learning hadith as well as learning about the lives of the prophet (s) and his companions.

Do not use fear as a method of raising your child:
This causes damage to their personality and leads to psychological problems. In particular, excess punishment by the mother weakens the relationship and value that the child has for his mother in his heart. Often a look or silence can be more effective in making the child understand their mistake than hitting them or scaring them.

Teaching children about Huqul-Ibad (Rights of other fellow beings):
Huqul-Ibad is about respecting the rights of others and especially understanding others’ rights from an Islamic standpoint. For example, children raised in certain non-Muslim cultures may not develop the same respect for parents and elders as mandated in Islam. Children should, therefore, be taught to be respectful and dutiful to their parents, maintain good relations with relatives, and neighbors. Children should also be warned against picking up habits that can lead to disrespecting others. These include backbiting, slandering, lying and abusing

Posted: 2013-07-22

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